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We’ve all seen the movie scenes of some tribal community where all the families gather around the fire or sit inside a tent or a Hogan and listen to the stories of the wise ones. These are the wrinkled old hags, the stooped medicine man, the shaman and the curandera that have lived long and fought in battles or raised a brood of children or traveled the oceans looking for new islands, upon which to settle their people. While these scenes may still exist in remote areas or traditional tribal communities, there is no equivalent for the common working man and woman. It doesn’t exist in any formal sense in our modern world.
Society, to a large degree has rejected the wisdom of the elderly and the exhortations and rebukes of the senior individual. It is to the detriment of the younger generations that this is sadly the case. Renewing the respect and regard for elders is a path that parents would do well to lead their children down.
Yes, but how?
Starting down this path means spending time with your older loved ones or members of your community. Everyone knows someone who is elderly. Even if you are in your middle years, seek out the company of those in their later years.
Does older mean wiser?
Not always - but even if a person seems an old fool, just start asking questions and engaging in conversation. It is doubtful that a person can reach the status of being a senior citizen without gaining some wisdom in some area. Suspend your judgment for awhile and keep working at the friendship.
What should we talk about?
Well, ask some questions, any question. Almost anything is appropriate from cooking to hunting to religion and politics. Of course, there are really personal and private things that would be impertinent to ask about so just don’t go there. That is something that may be volunteered at some point but don’t be disrespectful.
Keep a journal as you walk down the path of a relationship with an elderly person. You might even engage in a project yourself or with your children of interviewing elderly people. Who knows, a simple interview might ignite a life-long friendship. Even a simple question like “what was your favorite toy” might spark a really good memory that will lead to other tangential stories and thoughts about life.
Share your life with them. Don’t be afraid to confide in an elderly friend, you would be surprised at the empathy and compassion that they have for you. You can bet that many of them have been in similar situations and circumstances. They are likely more than happy to share their thoughts and experiences with you.
The Legacy Project: Lessons for Living from the Wisest Americans
Visit The Legacy Project to hear what people over 70 have to say about all the different topics of life. It is a great resource for learning from the elderly. You can select any topic area from the sidebar to go directly to your burning questions. After watching a few videos and reading a few stories on this site you will have better ideas about topics you can approach with your own elderly friends. One of my favorite entries on The Legacy Project is a letter written by an 89 year old woman who was one of the first commissioned female officers in the Navy in WWII. The title is A Philosophy for Living from a Remarkable Woman.
Our society worships youth at any cost and that means there is no respect for those who are not young. It's a real pity because the lessons of life can be very hard and if we have any wisdom at all, we will pay attention to those who have already been through it. We, as in the human race, lose much wisdom with each generation and more so when we don't listen or respect our elders.
Yes, Mary Jane, that was one of the points in Glady's letter that struck me the most also. What an amazing life she must have led. I have an older friend at church who just turned 80 and she graduated from college along with her sister as a young adult at a time when most women did not go to college. She is an amazing individual and I love chatting with her about her life. I agree Pat, it is a sad plight that needs to be reversed!
Wonderful article and the seniors do tell interesting stores. Since becoming a caregiver, I enjoy listening more to this group.
Nice article, voted!
You have put new meaning to the detail of elderly. It would be great if all the young people could read this well presented wisdom.
Your wisdom touch me greatly.
Hi Judith, I just finished reading Gladys' letter. One phrase struck me the most--Poverty is not a lack of money. It is a lack of skills. And I look back at the situation in my country and I realized how true that situation was. Most poor people in my country are content with what they have, if they eat 3 times a day or at least once a day they're okay and leave the rest to God. They don't really try very hard to learn any new skills to improve their way of lives. And those that I see successful are those who are not afraid to learn new skills and use them.